My successes are my own. My achievements are mine to show. My life is of my own making. There is a but here though, I could never have done any of this alone.
Of all the blessings I have in my life, my support structure is the greatest one. My parents, my husband and my friends. From looking after my Little Prince, to holding my hand over finish lines, to telling me how awesome I am. Celebrating for me the little victories I am too far-sighted to sometimes see.
My journey has not been an easy one and I am far from where I want to be but I already have people asking me about how I can do it. How do I get up early on a Saturday morning, when previously it has been my only opportunity for sleeping late, and do Park Run? How do I avoid the foods that harm and focus on an eating plan that heals? Amazed that I am still going, still pushing, still hoping when a lot of people have lost hope.
I haven’t got the answers that work for everyone but here are the things that work for me:
I will forever remember the day that I emailed Rael Kopping about Makeover Menu. It was the day my life changed. He offered me the kind of support I obviously needed. One on one focussed attention to my details. I am accountable to myself in all things I do but I lie to myself, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be where I am. I cannot lie to Rael. He will see it on the scale and he will see it in my other metrics. We have had a few ups and downs but with adjusting a little here, a little there we came to a solution that is working! Find what works for you here and stop caring what others think of what works for you as long as you have a qualified person backing you up.
Motivators are people who see the awesome in you and remind you of it. For me it’s my friend Z. We were aquitences until 3 years ago when she walked a Park Run with me and since then our friendship has grown into the amazing healthy thing it is today. No matter what success I share with her, something as small as the fact that I could tighten the bracelet by one more loop, she makes it sound like I won Gold at the Olympics. Don’t confuse motivators with enablers. If you aren’t sure look at it this way:
When I tell Z about a success her response is “You are awesome, I knew it and you need to see it, look at what an amazing thing you did over here” and enabler’s response would be “Well done, now let’s go have a chocolate milkshake”. That’s very literal but you get the idea.
Gymspirations, Fitspirations, #LifeGoals. Whatever you want to call them, I fill my timelines with them. Facebook, Instagram, STRAVA. I use what they post to motivate my actions, to build a bucket list and non-food rewards. You can go old school and build a dreamboard or just pin stuff. Don’t idealise them, that leads to negative talk too quickly “I will never be as amazing as…” but use what they do to create your wishlist for life.
My parents who have put up with some crazy requests so I can get a walk or swim in. My husband who moves worlds to help me and The Little Prince who I strive to keep up with and to be a healthy, long-lived mommy for. I also want to build my family and to do that I need to make space for a tiny human to grow. If your family is not on board (I have had so many message from people whose family fights every change they try to make) then turn around and tell them exactly where they stand. Make a fitfam of your own, online support groups, gym classes, walking clubs, etc.
Sounds weird to some and obvious to other but in the end my own support is the most important part. If I walk past my reflection and tell myself how fat I look and how horrible this or that is, how I am not winning or not trying hard enough, I will never succeed. Instead I allow myself a little vanity and pride “Look at how my legs are changing” “oh my waist is starting to take shape” “I have done really well with my eating this week” “Yay me for waking up early to exercise”. Start speaking to yourself nicely, even if you struggle to find something nice to say in the beginning, just do it. I started this exercise with “I love my….nails. They grow strong and fast” and over time the list grew and I found more things to love about myself. Be your own Motivator most of all.
Hope does spring eternal, you just need to tap the right well, build your support structure and get rid, as politely or nor as you feel, of people, things and thoughts holding you back.